Phong and Gosalyn write a fanfic
by Electric Blue
Summary: Phong gets ready for a date while Gosalyn writes: Megabyte struggles with the fact that everybody thinks he's Phil Donahue as he plans to open his restaurant. Meanwhile, our heroes try to bag themselves a cat.
1. Megabyte's evil plan

***  
Phong writes a Season 5 fanfic!  
Starring Kathryn Grover as the narrorator!  
***  
  
Disclaimer: ReBoot is owned by Mainframe, a wonderful company that is   
currently animating a Spiderman series. Darkwing Duck is owned by Disney.   
And just for the record, I LOVE CiCi's Pizza. No animosity toward this  
yummy restaurant is intended.  
  
***  
  
Some people may wonder what cartoon characters do in their free time.  
  
Well, some of them are internet geeks.  
  
We are about to meet a few of them.  
  
(Phong is sitting at a desk in a room filled with spare computer parts,   
typing at a computer.)  
  
Here, we have Phong. A regular from the show, ReBoot. He just happens to   
be a member of the 'Toon Fanfic Writing Club. Today, we will watch as he   
meets up with one of the other members at his apartment.  
  
(Knocking sound at the door.)  
  
Phong: Oh! Come in!  
  
(Door opens.)  
  
Ah! Who should it be but Gosalyn! A regular character from Darkwing Duck!  
  
(Gosalyn bounces over to Phong.)  
  
Gosalyn: Hey Phong! We gonna write that fic out today?  
  
Phong: Ah! Yes. I have all my ideas typed out. Do you have your notes?  
  
Gosalyn: All right here!  
  
Phong: Good then. Let us begin..........oh.........what should I name it?  
  
(Gosalyn goes through her notes, then looks through Phong's.)   
  
"Hmmm. Well,   
because it takes place just after Season 5 ends.......and since it   
involves a lot of pizza........."  
  
(Gosalyn reaches over to the keyboard and starts typing.)  
  
***  
Pizza Hunt  
Work of fanfiction by Phong and Gosalyn  
***  
  
Phong: Oh! That is a wonderful name choice!  
  
Gosalyn: Are you always so easily amused? What should we put in the   
disclaimer?  
  
(Phong thinks for a bit, then starts typing.)  
  
***  
Disclaimer: Mainframe owns Phong, not the other way around!  
***  
  
Gosalyn: Eh..........I guess that works.  
  
***  
Chapter 1  
Megabyte's Evil Plan  
***  
  
Phong: How should we do the opening paragraph?  
  
Gosalyn: Let me handle this. (Starts Typing.)  
  
Upon the balcony of the war room, with the entire system resources at his   
command, the pinnacle of evil, Megabyte, stood with gleaming claws and   
beady eyes, wondering who to utterly destroy first! Near him, Welman,   
AKA Mr. Nullhead, was now his infected slave, ready to bow to his every   
whim. Held by this null-headed robot, was the null-headed robot's son,   
Enzo, who was desperately trying to escape the unusually strong grip of   
the robot suit.  
  
Phong: Are you always this descriptive?  
  
Gosalyn: I read a LOT of comic books.  
  
Phong: Are all comic books this descriptive?  
  
Gosalyn: Ever read "Spawn"?  
  
"Ah! What a perfect place to launch my perfectly EVIL plan!" said   
Megabyte, cackling with glee. "For with these system resources under my   
command, I can quickly accomplish in minutes  
  
Phong: Are you sure you mean "minutes"?  
  
Gosalyn: Oh yeah. Minutes are like months, eh? Scratch that.  
  
"Ah! What a perfect place to launch my perfectly EVIL plan!" said   
Megabyte, cackling with glee. "For with these system resources under my   
command, I can accomplish in nanoseconds what would take minutes with my   
viral binomes!"  
  
"You'll never get away with this, Megabyte!" Enzo shouted!  
  
Phong: Do you not think that is a little cliche?  
  
Gosalyn: It's a FANFIC! It's SUPPOSED to be cliche!  
  
Phong: Ah, yes! You are correct!  
  
"Ah, but you don't even know what my plan is. Don't worry. I don't want to   
KILL any of you. I just want to torture your sister by breaking her   
spirit, PERMANENTLY!"  
  
"Actually," said Welman "I think she already did that to herself when you   
were posing as Bob."  
  
"That's not funny! Now shut up while I finish telling you guys my entire   
plan!"  
  
Gosalyn: This part is important. Every villian likes to brag.  
  
Phong: Ah, so true. When is it my turn at the keyboard?  
  
Gosalyn: Just a minute! I'm on a roll!  
  
"*Ahem!* Where was I before Mr. Null-head interrupted? Ah yes. When I am   
finished breaking your sister's spirit, I will claim her as my own!   
Because I now have these wonderful shape shifting capabilities, I will   
turn into this wonderful representation of what I really SHOULD look like,   
and become Dot's prince charming! She will be mine forever!"  
  
Enzo watched agape as Megabyte started getting a facial expression similar   
to the expression Mandark gets when he sees Dee Dee.  
  
Phong: Ah! Dexter's Laboratory! Megabyte and Hexadecimal remind me so much   
of Dexter and Dee Dee!  
  
Gosalyn: Yeah. Too bad Hex never got to say the line "Ooooh! What does   
THIS button do?"  
  
Phong: Maybe we should write a fanfic about that.  
  
Gosalyn: Later.   
  
"Do you really think Dot would go for you? After what you pulled?"  
  
"Of course she will? For who could resist this look I have chosen for   
myself?"  
  
Megabyte hands Enzo a vidwindow. Enzo stares at the vidwindow, then stares   
at Megabyte with one eyebrow raised.  
  
"It looks like Phil Donahue!"  
  
"IT IS NOT PHIL DONAHUE! IT IS ME! IT IS HOW I WILL LOOK! AND HOW I WILL   
LOOK LOOKS NOTHING LIKE PHIL DONAHUE!"  
  
Phong: Alright, my turn. You are starting to write Megabyte like Mojo   
Jojo.  
  
(Phong pushes Gosalyn away from the keyboard.)  
  
Gosalyn: HEY!  
  
"Are you kidding? That looks EXACTLY like him! You're crazier than   
Hexadecimal was! I'll bet your plan to "break Dot's spirit" is even   
worse."  
  
"Ah, but you have no idea! For I have developed the most diabolical plan   
to rid Dot of her spirit!"  
  
Gosalyn: WHO writes Megabyte like Mojo Jojo?  
  
"And what plan would that be?"  
  
"I will DESTROY HER BUSINESS!"  
  
DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!  
  
Enzo stared, wide eyed.   
  
"You're kidding! How the hell would you do that? You're just gonna blow   
up the Diner again? Because she can always rebuild it."  
  
Gosalyn: Does Enzo talk like that? Does Enzo even know what hell is?  
  
Phong: Oh yes. You should have heard him after he found out what Cartoon   
Network did!  
  
"Oh, no. Blowing it up would do nothing to hurt her business. She has more   
insurance policies than Hexadecimal had masks. My plan is to make her go   
bankrupt by creating a better business."  
  
"Heh. What the heck would YOU know about business?"  
  
"All in good time, my boy! I have a building to create!"  
  
Megabyte started pressing buttons and a vidwindow popped up on the center   
viewscreen in the war room. It showed a sector of G-Prime, which was   
mostly empty. He opened up the paint program that Hex had once used to   
paint Mainframe like crazy, then erased everything in the sector. He then   
constructed a wireframe of a building with a large eating room and   
gigantic kitchen. He added video games, tables, buffets, etc. Then, the   
finishing touch, a big sign. "CiCi's Pizza!"  
  
Phong: Hmmmm. We did decide that Megabyte was going to open a franchise   
restaurant, right?  
  
Gosalyn: Isn't that kind of a paradox? For a pizza chain from the real   
world to exist there?  
  
Phong: Well, if Ray can wear the Motorola logo on his icon, Hex can wear   
the McDonalds logo on her head, and we can have random appearances by   
Feathers McGraw and the Pixar lamp, then opening a CiCi's in Mainframe   
should be no trouble.  
  
Gosalyn: Right.......  
  
(REAL Author's note: CiCi's pizza exists mostly in the southern U.S. with   
the exception of Indiana and Ohio, which are up north. Currently, the   
closest restaurants to Canada are in those two states, so chances are   
most Canadians have never heard of this place. Go to   
http://www.cicispizza.com to find out what this place is like. CiCi's is   
an all-you-can-eat pizza/pasta/salad buffet, and is famous for its dessert   
pizzas (as in CHOCOLATE PIZZA!), embarrassingly friendly staff (Everybody   
in the kitchen shouts "HELLO! WELCOME TO CICI'S!" at every poor soul that   
enters their restaurant.), and policy to make ANY pizza you ask for. These   
will all become silly plot devices later on. ;) )  
  
  
(Author's Note #2: Great, now I'm hungry.......)  
  
  
"And with this restarant, I WILL CONQUER DOT'S SANITY FOREVER!" shouted   
Megabyte as Enzo watched, dumbounded. Enzo then turned to his dad.  
  
"Gee, I wish I could reach a window. I really need to call the Funny Farm,   
'cause the web obviously did more than give him superpowers. He's NUTS!"  
  
Megabyte on the other hand, opened a window to make an announcement to the   
city, as well as the various sprites trapped within the P.O..  
  
"Greetings, citezens of Mainframe. I have completed phase one of my evil   
revenge plan. You may all go home now. We will continue this later."  
  
Gosalyn: So when are we gonna write in some action?  
  
Phong: Later. We have not finished setting up the plot!  
  
Gosalyn: Can I at least write the ending to this chapter? Pretty   
please?   
  
Phong: Oh, alright. Here.  
  
Gosalyn: Thank you! Now, how to end this?  
  
"Now, my child. I can't have you spoiling my evil plot to all your   
little buddies."  
  
Megabyte lifted his shimmering claws. A tentacle shot out of his arm,   
wrapping around Enzo while leaving him a pale blue color. Megabyte,   
grinning a nasty little grin, pointed at his face while saying:  
  
"You will NOT tell anyone what my plan is. Furthermore, you will not   
tell anyone you are infected."  
  
"Yes, Megabyte."  
  
"Um, sir?" said Welman?  
  
"What do you want NOW you pathetic excuse for a pet?"  
  
"Aren't they going to figure out he's infected when they see him? I   
mean, he doesn't look too healthy. Unless of course you want to try   
and convince everybody that he's Bob's long lost cousin."  
  
Megabyte paused to think for a moment. "By golly, he's right!"  
  
Phong: Golly? Megabyte? Now THAT'S a paradox!  
  
Megabyte walked into Dot's office, and upon opening a drawer,   
discovered a small section of Dot's make-up collection. Pulling out a   
bottle of foundation, he ordered Enzo to put it on his face and   
hands.   
  
"Use this after every shower!" The insanely evil virus ordered.  
  
After Enzo was done, Megabyte unlocked all the doors in the Principal   
office, then dissappeared out the escape door.  
  
***  
  
As the confused sprites who previously thought they were about to be   
turned into orange goo repeated Megabyte's words, they were   
astonished.  
  
"Megabyte's just letting us go? That doesn't make any sense!"  
  
"Come on, let's get to the War Room and see what "phase one" was."  
  
Phong: Aren't you going to say who said that?  
  
Gosalyn: They can guess. It's good enough for 'em.  
  
Phong: This coming from Ms. Descriptive?  
  
***  
  
Dot rushed into the war room to find Enzo sitting on a couch, seemingly   
unresponsive. Welman was standing next to him, as if waiting for   
something to happen.  
  
Dot noticed almost immediately that the robot suit her dad was in was   
infected because of its metallic blue colors, and was wondering if this   
had anything to do with that evil "Phase One".  
  
"Dad? What happened to Enzo?"  
  
"Megabyte infected him."  
  
Of course, our minister of evil had forgotten to mention to Welman not   
to tell anybody about Megabyte's plan.  
  
To be continued.........  
  
Phong: Alright, that should do it for now. Shall we meet again next week   
to work on chapter 2?  
  
Gosalyn: Of course. I got this great idea for how they beat the pizza   
chain. See ya!  
  
(Gosalyn leaves the room. Phong then proceeds to pick up the phone.)  
  
Phong: I have this strange craving for pizza. 


	2. Catastrophie!

***  
  
The Next Week!  
  
***  
  
(Phong is typing on his keyboard, apparently in a chat room.)  
  
Phong: No! I am NOT a Chinese Mechanical E.T.! Why those dirty kids! I   
outta.............  
  
(A knocking sound is at the door.)  
  
Phong: Oh! Come in!  
  
(Gosalyn marches in reading printed papers, not looking up at Phong.)  
  
Gosalyn: Okay, I've been thinking. That last chapter needs a few edits.  
  
Phong: What kind of edits?  
  
Gosalyn: Well, I forgot to put one of those end of chapter teasers like   
they have in the comic books.  
  
Phong: Too late. I already posted the first part.  
  
Gosalyn: WHAT?  
  
Phong: Besides, you'll probably do the opening anyway, right?  
  
Gosalyn: Hmmmmmmm, well, yeah. Okay. Lemmie see the keyboard.  
  
***  
Chapter 2  
Catastrophie!  
***  
  
Gosalyn: Hey wait a sec. Phong, I'm confused about something. We haven't   
put you in this fic yet.  
  
Phong: I'm still pondering whether or not to do that. I mean, if a ReBoot   
character writes themself into a fic about their own show, does that count   
at self-insert?  
  
Gosalyn: Um...........not sure.   
  
Phong: Then we better play it safe and not bother.  
  
Gosalyn: Alrighty then........  
  
When we last left our heroes, they were confused out of their minds.   
Megabyte, the evil virus with the shiney teeth, had simply let them go,   
after saying that he'd already finished phase one of his evil plan for   
revenge.  
  
To add to the confusion, Megabyte had infected Enzo, seemingly to prevent   
him from telling anybody his evil plan. He'd then instructed his new   
servant not to tell anybody about the infection. However, he'd forgotten   
to tell that to Welman, who just blurted it out when asked by Dot.  
  
Even evil overlords can make mistakes you know.  
  
Now, our heroes have gathered in Dot's office (with the exception of   
Mouse and little Enzo), discussing what to do next.  
  
"Can I just shoot him?" Matrix asked.  
  
"No!" Bot said, firmly.  
  
"Because I've got dibbs!" Dot said, a bit angrily.  
  
"That isn't helping, Dot," Bob replied, sighing.  
  
Phong: Is that really necessary?  
  
Gosalyn: Well, you did tell me she was violent.  
  
The door opened and Mouse walked in.  
  
"I got good news and bad news," Mouse stated.  
  
"What's the good news?" Bob asked.  
  
Gosalyn: Oh yeah, I thought I'd add a few plot devices before we get to   
the main plot.  
  
Phong: Why?  
  
Gosalyn: I'm not sure. I think it's tradition or something. Besides,   
unless I did, I wouldn't be able to add my wonderful parody.  
  
Phong: Are you going to let me write today?  
  
Gosalyn: No.  
  
"I figured out how Megabyte's new infection works. It has a bit of a   
security feature to keep people like me out."  
  
Everybody exchanged looks, then looked at Mouse.  
  
"Okay..........what's the bad news?" Bob asked.  
  
"I didn't know about it ahead of time," Mouse said, plainly.  
  
Just then, Enzo walked in on all fours, meowing. It was a strangely   
realistic cat impersonation.  
  
"It seems that there's two actual infections that Megabyte now uses to   
keep his control. If you remove one without the other, something screwy   
happens," Mouse stated plainly.  
  
"Hey! CUT THAT OUT!" Matrix shouted, after noticing that his other self   
was rubbing up against Andraia's leg and purring.  
  
"Awwwwww, how cute! He acts just like you when we're alone!" Andraia said.  
  
"Um, Andraia? Do you have to say that out loud?" Matrix said, his face   
turning a bright shade of pink.  
  
"This is all very interesting Mouse," Dot said. "But can you remove the   
rest of the infection?"  
  
Enzo, upon hearing this, bolted out of the room.  
  
"Sure, Dot. If we can catch him. I was kinda hoping for Andraia to knock   
him out for me to finish the job."  
  
A hiss came from the next room.  
  
"Oops. I think he heard that."  
  
***  
  
Phong: Alright, you've written in your plot device. My turn!   
  
(Pushes Gosalyn away from the keyboard.)  
  
Gosalyn: Hey! I didn't get to finish it!  
  
Phong: That's right. Because I've got ideas of my own now.  
  
Gosalyn: Jerk.......  
  
"I am a genius!" Megabyte cackled to himself, while watching his video   
screen. The sound of a screaming cat and a crash could be heard. "Clever   
of me to infect the Principal office security system, so that I can have   
such wonderful entertainment while waiting for my virals to set up my new   
restaurant."  
  
A binome walked in, holding a notepad. "Sir! We've just ordered a shipload   
of pizza toppings! Awaiting the delivery, and your command!"  
  
"Begin training the pizza patrol. Then stand by until the delivery."  
  
"Yes sir!"   
  
The binome exited the room, and Megabyte turned back to his   
"entertainment". More crash sounds and hissing could be heard.  
  
"Ooooh, that's gotta smart!" said Megabyte, and began laughing at his 50   
bazillionth Bob impersonation that minute.  
  
***  
  
"Ugh, I don't want to get up. That hurt!" Bob said, laying sprawled on the   
floor with various cat scratches all over. His uniform looked a bit torn   
up as well.  
  
Dot was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall, out of breath.   
Mouse, Matrix, and Andraia were not in sight. Enzo just sat there in the   
middle of the room, licking his hand.  
  
"He really acts like a cat, doesn't he?"  
  
Frisket, who until now had been in an undetermined place, just happened to   
walk in. Upon seeing Enzo, the dog leapt over to him, and smothered him in   
doggie kisses.   
  
Enzo was less than amused. A quick screech, followed by a hailstorm of   
clawing, was all anybody could see before Enzo bolted out of the room.  
  
Frisket just sat there, then turned to Dot, giving a pathetic "puppy eyed"   
look, and gave out a whine.  
  
"I don't know either, Frisket."  
  
"What? You talk to dogs?"  
  
"Bob, you're an idiot sometimes."  
  
***  
  
Megabyte almost fell out of his chair with laughter.   
  
"Frisket, I finally get my revenge on you! You who destroyed my facilities   
numerous times, have just been scratched by the hand that feeds you!"  
  
He then watched as Enzo encountered Mainframe's OTHER infamous pet,   
Skuzzy.  
  
"This should be interesting."  
  
The two met right in front of the principal office.  
  
"Meow!" Skuzzy said.  
  
Translation: What the heck are you doing pretending to be a cat?"  
  
"PPPPPHHHHHTTTTTTTTT!!!! SSSSSSSSTTTTTT!" Enzo replied.  
  
Translation: GIT OFFA MY PROPERTY!!!!  
  
Megabyte really did fall out of his chair laughing as Enzo chased Skuzzy   
around Mainframe.  
  
"That's what you get for spying on me for Hex you stupid feline!" Megabyte   
screamed while laughing.  
  
***  
  
Matrix and Andraia lay beaten on the floor somewhere in the principal   
office.   
  
"Dang, Megabyte got us this time, didn't he?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
Andraia suddenly sat up gasping, as if hearing something scary.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"I could have sworn I heard Megabyte screaming with laughter over   
something."  
  
"That jerk. Let him laugh. I can't wait until HE meets up with Mini Me."  
  
Andraia grinned. "Now THAT I would like to see."  
  
Matrix then sat up, and both of them grinned an evil little grin at each   
other, then discussed their new plan.  
  
***  
  
Gosalyn: So what's the plan?  
  
Phong: THAT, we will reveal next week.  
  
Gosalyn: Aw, really?  
  
Phong: Yup.  
  
Gosalyn: Well, in that case, see ya next time! 


	3. Cat and Mouse!

***  
  
Week 3!  
  
***  
  
(Phong is back at the 'ol computer screen, looking at his to-do list.)  
  
Phong: Let's see what we have for today.......  
  
====Phong's To Do list====  
11:00 Polish bottlecap collection  
12:00 Reorganize drawer  
1:00 Clean kitty box  
2:00 Iron underwear  
3:00 Clean house  
4:00 Meet with Gosalyn  
5:00 Six hour date with Hanako  
  
Phong: AAAH! I FORGOT!  
  
(Phong rushes for a telephone.)  
  
Phong: Hello? Dopey's flower service? Dozen roses, PRONTO!  
  
(It seems that we have Valentines day in our hands here. Phong starts   
dialing another number.)  
  
Phong: Yes? Arkana's Arkadian Chocoholic service? Can you deliver me a 2   
foot tall chocolate statue of a Canadian Beaver? Yes! No, I want SOLID! I   
need it in two hours. YOU CAN? GOOD! DO IT!  
  
(Phong then proceeds to rummage through his drawer and pulls out a red   
polka dot glittery bow tie and puts it on. He then pulls out a   
handkerchief and proceeds to polish his head. There is a knock on the door.)  
  
Phong: Come in!  
  
(Gosalyn walks in.)  
  
Gosalyn: So, we gonna work on this fic this week or do you have other   
plans?  
  
Phong: Other plans? What do you mean?   
  
Gosalyn: You're wearing a sparkly polka dot bow tie.  
  
Phong: Oh this? (Phong looks a bit embarrassed.) I'm going on a date   
tonight.  
  
Gosalyn: With who?  
  
Phong: Hanako.  
  
Gosalyn: HER? YOU TRAITOR!  
  
Phong: Hey. She said that if I went with her she promised NOT to bash our   
fic.  
  
Gosalyn: But she's...........EVIL!  
  
Phong: We only have Silv's word for that. Well.....her and a few people   
who were upset by her reviews, but you can't please everybody.  
  
Gosalyn: You better know what you're doing.  
  
Phong: Oh, but I DO! *hehehehe* Anyway, what have we planned for this   
week?  
  
(Gosalyn pulls out an outline.)  
  
Gosalyn: Let's see. More Nekoken antics, Megabyte's new form, some other   
stuff.  
  
Phong: Let us begin.  
  
(Doorbell Rings.)  
  
Phong: Who's there?  
  
Voice from outside, sounds like small child: Dopey's Flower service!  
  
Phong: Well, that was fast.  
  
(Phong opens the door to find a 5 year old girl standing in front of   
him, holding a vase of flowers and a clip board.)  
  
Blossom: Hi! Your flowers are here. Sign here please.  
  
Phong: (Taking clipboard.) Hello Blossom. I thought you and your sisters   
were shooting for a movie.  
  
Blossom: What? You think Cartoon Network PAYS us?   
  
(Phong reflects on that for a bit.)  
  
Blossom: Besides, child labor laws apparently don't apply to cartoon   
characters. So I can work extra jobs.   
  
(Blossom then notices Gosalyn.)  
  
Blossom: Hey, Gosalyn! Long time no see! What are you hanging out here   
for?  
  
Gosalyn: Me and Phong are writing a fanfic.  
  
Blossom: A FANFIC? Eeeewwwwww.  
  
Gosalyn: What's wrong with that?  
  
Blossom: Have you seen what kinds of situations people put me and my   
sisters in? Always writing about me and my sisters falling in love with   
our evil twins! I mean, WHAT'S THE DEAL?  
  
(Phong and Gosalyn just stare.)  
  
Blossom: Oh, well, here's the flowers. Bye.  
  
(Blossom zooms off in a hurry.)  
  
Phong: Well, that was interesting.  
  
Gosalyn: She's right you know. CN's gotten a bit cheap lately.   
  
Phong: And I'd bet Hanako would have a ball with some of the fics about   
those kids. Shall we continue? Or actually, can you finish this chapter on   
your own while I get ready?  
  
Gosalyn: Sure thing. You just keep polishing there and I'll get on with   
the fic.  
  
(Gosalyn sits down at the keyboard and begins to type.)  
  
***  
Chapter 3  
Cat and Mouse.  
***  
  
In a dark dark city, there was a dark dark sector. In that dark dark   
sector, there was a dark dark building. In that dark dark building there   
was a dark dark floor. On that dark dark floor there was a dark dark room.  
  
Phong: GOSALYN!  
  
Gosalyn: What?  
  
Phong: Quit with the dark stuff already! I HATE Angst. Who are you, Dan   
Green?  
  
Gosalyn: Keep your cool, I'm almost done! It's supposed to be a JOKE!  
  
In that dark dark room there was a dark dark plan. Thinking up that dark   
dark plan was...........................  
  
Phil Donahue?  
  
"Ah, the perfect look for me! I, the most evil virus in the whole 'net! I   
am bad! I am evil! I am MEGABYTE!"  
  
Phong: If only Blossom were still here.  
  
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.  
  
"Come in!" said Megabyte, in a strangely happy tone.  
  
A viral binome entered, took one look at Megabyte, and was confused.  
  
"Oh, sorry Phil. Didn't know you were here. Have you seen Megabyte."  
  
"I AM Megabyte!"  
  
"Really? Hey cool! You look just like Phil Donahue!"  
  
Megabyte gets an exasperated look, but finally continues.   
  
"Status report?"  
  
"Yes sir! Training has been completed, supplies have been delivered, your   
limo has been polished, Old Man Pearson just met up with Enzo, and your   
pizza is ready."  
  
"Thank you. Carry on."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Now, where was I?"  
  
Megabyte continued strutting in front of his mirror, plotting about how he   
was gonna take Dot on a date...........and make her like it!  
  
***  
  
Andraia was unusually good with animals.  
  
But even she couldn't seem to keep the kitty calm. She did have an idea   
though.  
  
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Matrix asked.  
  
Phong: Are we having a role reversal here?  
  
Gosalyn: Come on, any plan that doesn't involve bursting in and jumping   
into a fight bothers this guy.  
  
"Of course. Cats can't resist catnip! It makes 'em drunk. And knowing how   
much you like that......"  
  
"Hey, isn't that a little unfair?"  
  
"I'm only being truthful. Anywho, we give him the catnip, I knock him   
out when his guard is down, Mouse finishes the job, end of story."  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, Bob and Dot are surveying the damage to the principal office by   
said "cat". Frisket is following them around, unsure of what to do.  
  
Phong: Gosalyn? Frisket NEVER follows Bob around unless he's about to get   
eaten.  
  
Gosalyn: Hey! How'd you figure it out already? Great, now I'll have to   
change what I was gonna do.  
  
Phong: Now I'm confused.  
  
Bob looked at the cat scratches on the wall, with a pool of blood on the   
floor.   
  
"I don't want to know what happened here," he said.  
  
*meow*  
  
"What's that noise?" Dot asked.  
  
"What noise?"  
  
"Hey, I'm asking the question."  
  
"Oh brother. I don't know what that noise was."  
  
*meow*  
  
"Wait, there it is again!"  
  
"Prolly just a little 'ol cricket bug."  
  
"Hey you, I'm the Command.com! I'll say what it was, and that was NO   
cricket! Now SHADDUP!"  
  
*meow*  
  
They both look at each other.  
  
"Cat," they both said in unison.  
  
"Glitch! Baseball Bat!"  
  
"What? Baseball Bat?"  
  
"Well, yeah! Gotta defend ourselves."  
  
"You are not gonna hit my brother!"  
  
"You got a better idea?"  
  
"Yes, in fact. If you didn't notice, that cat sound is a bit painful. I   
don't think we're in any danger, and if that IS my brother, you're not   
going to make it worse, comprende?"  
  
"It's not like you cared about me OR him for the past few minutes you big   
meanie!"  
  
Bob starts crying like a baby. Dot looks annoyed.  
  
*meow*  
  
Dot calmly follows the noise. She stops at a corner, shoves a few boxes   
aside, and picks something up. It's Skuzzy, and he looks a bit scratched   
up.  
  
"Oh, it's just Skuzzy. Well, that's a relief."  
  
Dot responded by punching him in the face.  
  
"Hypocrite," Bob muttered under his breath.  
  
Phong: You do realize you're getting very Dan-ish?  
  
Gosalyn: *slap* What about me reminds you of a pastry?   
  
Phong: I give up. I just hope Hanako is more gentle.  
  
Frisket just stood there, confused.  
  
***  
  
Enzo was asleep on top of an old tire in Old Man Pearson's junkyard.   
Andraia approached slowly, carrying a big bag of fresh catnip.   
  
Gosalyn: PHEW! WHAT IS THAT SMELL?  
  
Phong: Oh, don't mind that. Just my new cologne. Ode de Geek.  
  
Gosalyn: Spew! That smells like a pocket protector!  
  
Phong: Just keep writing.  
  
"You know, I'd say he looked cute if he wasn't ready to tear us to pieces   
upon seeing us," Andraia said to Matrix.  
  
Well, forget sight. They were heard. Enzo jumped up, ready to attack.   
Andraia calmly got out a piece of catnip and tossed it to him.  
  
Enzo sniffed the catnip for a moment, unsure of what it was. Then ate it.   
He looked calmly at Andraia, and bounced over to her.  
  
"See? Told ya it'd work. He loves it." She gave him more.  
  
***  
  
Later...  
  
***  
  
"Wowee! What happened to all you?" Mouse asked as she first laid eyes on   
Bob, Dot, and Skuzzy.  
  
"Nothing. We just ran into your cat."  
  
"Oh, Skuzzy's not mine."  
  
"I'm not talking about Skuzzy. I can't believe you of all people made a   
screw up like this."  
  
"Oh hush. I can figure out the infection as soon as we get him over here."  
  
"Already done!" Andraia said, walking in, with Matrix behind her. Andraia   
was carrying Enzo, apparently asleep, in her arms.  
  
"How?" Dot asked. "Is he okay?"  
  
Phong: Oh sure. He just ate two pounds of catnip.  
  
"He's fine. Or should be. Unless of course catnip is poison to sprites."  
  
Dot looked at Matrix questioningly, and he just shrugged. "We'll tell you   
in a bit."  
  
"Alrighty then," Mouse said, let's get going.  
  
***  
  
Later Later  
  
***  
  
"Ugh, what happened?"  
  
Enzo woke up with Mouse standing over him. His head hurt, his stomach felt   
funny, and.........what was in his mouth? He pulled it out with his   
fingers to find the remains of some kind of plant.  
  
"Megabyte turned you into a cat," Bob said.  
  
"He did? Why the heck did he do that?"  
  
"I think he just wanted you to get revenge on everybody he hates."  
  
"Okay, so how'd I get back to not being a cat? I don't remember anything   
after Megabyte infecting me."  
  
"Andraia fed you about two pounds of catnip. That stuff makes cats drunk.   
She knocked you out and I disinfected you."  
  
"Hey, Sparky! Isn't that cute? He's having his first hangover long before   
you did!" Andraia said, in a strangely happy tone.  
  
Matrix just slapped his forehead.  
  
Phong: You're cruel, you know that?  
  
Gosalyn: Yep.  
  
Phong: And I just finished polishing. Can I finish?   
  
Gosalyn: Very well.  
  
***  
  
The building was a beautiful one. A red, flat roofed building, freshly   
painted and smelling of baking bread. A giant bow was tied around it, as   
if it were a giant gift. A podium with speakers had been set up in front   
of it. Many binomes had gathered around the restaurant that had appeared   
so suddenly. Where had it come from?   
  
Gosalyn: How descriptive. You've been hanging around ME too long.  
  
Out of nowhere, a shiny black limo pulled up in front of the restaurant,   
further confusing the crowds. And who should step out but........  
  
"Hey LOOK! It's Phil Donahue!"  
  
"Whoa? A User in Mainframe?"  
  
"What's he doing here?"  
  
Megabyte thought to himself.........Oh well, it hides my identity, and   
nothing's worse than pretending to be Bob. And I guess it makes me a   
celebrity. Alright! I will BE PHIL DONAHUE!  
  
"Phil Donahue" then began to commence with the ribbon cutting ceremony.   
The curious binomes were soon feasting on free pizza at the grand opening.  
  
***  
  
Phong: All done!  
  
(The doorbell rings.)  
  
Phong: Oh! Who could that be?  
  
(He looks a little nervous as he opens the door, but instead of getting   
Hanako, he gets........)  
  
Bob: Arkana's Arcadian Chocoholic Service. Did you order a two foot tall   
solid chocolate statue of a Canadian Beaver?  
  
Phong: Oh yes! I did order that!  
  
Bob: Sign here!  
  
(Bob leaves a little later.)  
  
Gosalyn: It's so sad. Bob gets all the junk jobs.  
  
(Doorbell rings again!)  
  
Phong opens the door, and his jaw drops. There, looking absolutely   
stunning, wearing a glittering red dress, with blonde hair and brown   
eyes, is Hanako. She bats her eyes at Phong, and he nearly passes out.  
  
Hanako: Hello there, Phong. Shall we go now?  
  
Phong: Duh.......duh........duh..........  
  
Gosalyn: Here, Hanako. He bought you these flowers and this chocolate   
statue.  
  
Hanako: Wow! My favorite animal! A canadian beaver! Phong, you are so   
sweet! Come, let us depart.  
  
Hanako leads the lovestruck Phong out the door by the hand. Gosalyn sighs,   
and closes up the house for him, locking the door, and making sure he has   
the keys. It's time for her to leave.  
  
Gosalyn: Geez, he's dating her but I end up acting like his wife. Stupid   
Chinese Mechanical E.T.  
  
Gosalyn was soon greeted by blackness as an angry Hanako put her to sleep   
with the Clue Hammer. (TM) 


End file.
